Well folks, this here is the final edition of Wedding Wednesday, and it’s only here to close this chapter of my life. Matt and I are no longer getting married.
Since the day I moved to Wisconsin, which was 2 days after we got engaged, I was overwhelmed and stressed. The butterflies and excitement of being engaged were few and far between. It is a lot to move to a new city where you only know one person, find a new job, and afford and plan a large wedding in a relatively unfamiliar town and we eventually found out that it was too much for us. We fought often and we weren’t working as a team to make each other happy and get through all these hurdles. We both take responsibility for our downfall and after a lot of tears the split was one of the rare things we agreed on.
We made it through the holidays with both of our families and then I packed my bags and headed to Minnesota to move into my parent’s basement. Fortunately they have some pretty sweet digs and
were are empty nesters so there’s plenty of space for little ol’ me. My job allows me to work from home so I don’t have the stress of job hunting again and I get the perks of not commuting in the current snow storm happening outside.
When it comes to any matter outside of our relationship, Matt and I got along great and remained really friendly. The night before I moved out we hung out and had a great last night together, minus some tears and a meltdown by yours truly. He even bought me coffee and scrapped off my car in the morning before he left the area so I could move out. As far as I’m concerned, we have no hard feelings towards each other, we just know that we like each other better as individuals than as a couple.
I wanted us to work so badly. Obviously I thought we would since I was willing to pick up my whole life from New York to be with him. I get sad sometimes because I miss my best friend. I miss having toothbrush sword fights when I brush my teeth. But honestly, I know this is best for both of us and I think he agrees. We are on good terms but we agreed to give each other space.
After sending a few e-mails, the wedding was cancelled. We lost the deposits but fortunately don’t owe anything further. I will be using I Do Now I Don’t to sell the engagement band. Since the center diamond is from my family, I will keep that and sell the band. We will use that money to pay back our parents for the deposits and Matt will keep the rest.
I have never been completely single before. Even when it’s not Facebook official, there has always been a guy that I regularly talk to and have interest in. I rang in the new year with a bottle of pink champagne for one. No New Year’s kiss but also no freezing in the cold outside of bars nor blisters from high heels. It’s a strange feeling being completely on my own, but honestly, I don’t hate it so far. It’s hard and lonely sometimes but I enjoy spending some much-needed time to myself.
Cheers to a new year and a new me.