I’ve been avoiding the gym. I haven’t run in well over a month. I have a legit reason with asthma a few weeks back but now, I’m really just scared. Starting over is really hard.
I think it’s even harder than starting in the first place because I now know what I’m getting myself into. I know it needs to be a priority but I have a lot of high priorities right now and I’m afraid of a burnout.
It’s crazy to think that just a few months ago I ran a half marathon and now I have to start over with week 1 of Couch to 5K. I’m so beyond out of shape right now and it’s embarrassing because I’m young, healthy and totally capable.
I haven’t been eating very well either. I travel almost every single weekend and if I don’t make grocery shopping and meal planning a priority on Sunday nights I’m pretty much screwed for the whole week. I’ll revert to whatever is easiest or what sounds good, which is fast food or junk food. My waistline is telling me that is NOT ok and I agree. It doesn’t help that my asthma medication helped me pack on a few lbs too.
Let me tell you, it’s not fun having to unbutton my pants while I sit at my desk because I know they’re too tight. If I had it my way, I’d have an elastic waistband 24/7. And hearing myself think that is not cool. I sound like a pregnant lady or a 400 lb cat lady.
I reached for a doughnut at work last week and my coworker said, “Don’t you need to be fitting into a dress soon?” Hey lady, you are rude! First of all, I don’t even have a dress yet so I can get whatever size I want and I will look good no matter what on my wedding day. Second of all, you do not need to announce to the surrounding office-mates that I’ve gained weight recently and maybe don’t need a doughnut for breakfast. Either way, if I’m going to reach for doughnuts, I DEFINITELY need to get my butt to the gym!
So I’m starting over. I’m not excited about it but I’m going to rip the band-aid off and just start. I will do my best to not compare to what I’ve done in the past. I will try to set aside expectations and just do what I can. I will make this a priority but it will not consume me like it did when I ran the NYC Half.
I’m “running” a 5K with my friend Jessie in a few short weeks. She is totally capable of running one in 30 minutes. I’m going to do my best to run the whole thing and I hope she’s willing to go at a slower pace with me.
Additionally, my next big running goal is another half marathon in the spring of ’13. I don’t have a specific race in mind yet but I know that I need something to work towards to keep my motivation high but I need enough time to let me build up gradually.
Now I’m getting off the computer and getting started! Here goes nothing!