Thank you for the comments of support and encouragement from yesterday’s post. Logically it makes total sense to know I’m lucky, life is good, etc. But sometimes it’s hard to get my emotions to catch up with the obvious. I’m working on it.
but if I can calm down, adjust my expectations, remain positive, and relax a little bit, it might look a lot more like this:
or even this:
- I did not participate in either book clubs this month. I wish I could have had that social opportunity to meet new people and discuss some pretty interesting books but I needed to focus on priorities. I can always meet up next month and if I don’t, it’s OK.
- I toned down the intensity for the rest of my race training. Being so exhausted and frustrated before a run was making the runs worse and then I would get even more frustrated for not having a good run. I need running and working out to be a positive experience for me and I need to just do what I can. I will run when I want to for a distance that works for me (I won’t be lazy about it) and I will make it a priority but I threw out my training plan. Currently, I plan to run 1 mile, walk .5 and rotate for the race. It’s less running than I wanted to but that’s OK. I might not finish in the 3 hour time limit and that’s OK too. “Do Not Finish” is better than “Do Not Start” so I have to be proud of that. I put a lot of pressure on this race but just because I don’t run this whole race, doesn’t mean I can’t ever run a full race. I can continue to try and I can continue to improve, I just need more time. It’s difficult to adjust my expectations but it’s necessary and instantly lifts a huge weight off my shoulders.
- I took a night off. No running, no homework, no babysitting, no social commitments, no internet, nothing. I allowed myself to clean out junk in my room and read my book. I let myself cry if I wanted to and I let myself just have a few moments to lay down and enjoy peace and quiet.
- I scheduled a trip to visit my aunt and uncle this weekend to get out of this crazy, hectic city.
- I turned my iPod off. As much as I love music, all that added noise in my ears was just too much.
- I started focusing on the present rather than stress about the future. Rather than stressing about doing my taxes before I even have all my documents, I started to focus on what I can do in the current moment. I can get homework finished, I can make my lunches for the week, I can get some reading done, I can make progress in career planning. That helped me take a few deep breaths.
I’m feeling better and I’m still happy with my accomplishments. I’m learning the hard way that I can’t do it all but that’s OK.